Now that intros are over, I want to take a sec to elaborate on my post from IG the other day.
I wish everyone understood this, and how hard it can be sometimes to just say hello. Even if we know you or if we see you every morning at work or while dropping our kids off at school. Sometimes even if you're family. I'm actually such a shit family member because I never reach out to people. I've gone a month without talking to my dad before. Calling my grandparents, or God forbid an aunt or uncle you rarely see, is fucking terrifying. And for absolutely no logical reason. Realizing you have to pass someone down a long hallway at work? Nope. I can go to the bathroom later, thanks. Other moms at school talking about setting up play dates? LITERALLY MY NIGHTMARE. And for absolutely no logical reason.
I'm that mom that usually walks with her head down through the halls at my son's school. I'm sure it comes off like I don't want to talk to anyone, but in reality my anxiety tells me I have nothing worth talking about or that I won't have anything in common with any other parents. I was feeling brave during orientation and signed up to be a room mom, and immediately had regrets when I got the first email, realizing I'd have to actually interact with other moms more than I thought I would. I'm still going through with it because I made a commitment, but I'm shitting my pants every time I have to communicate. I want to have other mom friends, but I can't keep myself from standing off to the side instead, waiting for something (and I'm never even sure what) to make me feel comfortable enough to make my approach.
I'm the person at work conferences that pretends to be on their phone instead of mingling, which is exactly what they say not to do, and avoiding making my rounds to people I don't see but once a year. Finding a table to sit at during lunch is the literal equivalent of how Cady Heron felt holding her trey looking at the cafeteria on her first day of school in Mean Girls. I tend to freeze for a moment if I'm not already walking into a room with someone, and have to actually make myself get a grip and tell myself to just sit the fuck down somewhere before people start to wonder what I'm doing. And I've known many of the people I work with for over a decade, yet it's still so hard to interact and just say hi.
All of this for absolutely no logical reason.
So why am I revealing that I'm an actual hot mess? Because I want to give some insight. I probably do seem rude. I probably sometimes seem unapproachable. I'm sure my resting bitch face is WAY off the charts, which is something I can't really control. And I know I'm far from the only one out there that has these exact struggles, literally every single day. So next time you're out and about or around a group of people, consider this post. Don't feel obligated to talk to us out of sympathy, because trust me, sometimes we prefer it that way out of fear of saying something ridiculous. But just be nice. You never know what someone is going through. Mental health is real and we are doing the best we can.
- The Whiskey Mom
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