Laying in bed scrolling through my feed like I do every night, partially just to get tired and partially to see if anything inspires me, when I came across this quote:
“I wish some people had come into my life a little earlier, some people a little later, and some not at all.”
I almost reposted it until I saw the last part, and that’s when I disagreed. And this is the thought that immediately came to my mind instead.
While I can fully appreciate feeling like you wish someone had never entered your life, I want you to stop and think of why that is, exactly.
Were you hurt by them? Do you feel ashamed for wasting your time on them? Do you feel almost embarrassed for giving them energy? Angry for trusting them when all they did was take you for granted or treat you like trash? Violated because they abused you? Was it just one person? More than one person? A family member? Or was it a spouse or friend? Maybe even a stranger that you tried to help?
We all have had at least one person enter our lives and leave us feeling one of the gut-wrenching emotions listed above. Some of us got extra lucky and encountered far more than one.
But I want you to ask yourself something. During any one of those situations, did you ever have the thought cross your mind of “I’m never doing this again because...” and you made a promise to yourself to abide by that statement? Or maybe you asked yourself how you ended up in that position in the first place, or vowed to never trust that person again. Maybe it helped you create a boundary. Whatever the outcome, this means you learned from it.
Sometimes it takes the most painful experiences to learn the most valuable lessons. I, for one, have more than one person that I sometimes wish I’d never even met or allowed myself to be as vulnerable with as I did. But just as quickly as that thought enters my mind, it makes a swift and abrupt exit. And I’m reminded that each one has been a major life lesson and really helped mold who I am today. I’m a LOT stronger and a lot more confident in who I am as a person because of these situations. I’ve learned what I’m really capable of and just how much I can mentally and emotionally handle. Sometimes these people still haunt my thoughts and I’m like UGH WHY DID I FUCKING EVER. It happened with guys and it happened with friends. But you know what? I’m glad I did and I’m glad it happened. And as much as I really hate to admit that, I know it’s the truth.
We wouldn’t be who we are today without those people, no matter how badly they hurt us. A quote I have always loved is “smooth waters never made for a skilled sailor.” Things happen when they’re meant to happen, whether we like it or not, and they're meant to shape us into the people we are meant to be. Don’t live with regret about it. You are who you are today because of those people and those difficult times.
Be proud of your experiences and wear them like badges of honor. Add them to your shield. If you’re feeling broken from a recent experience, take this and learn from it. You now know your limits and how much you can take. Make yourself a better person because of it. At the end of the day, you are a smarter, stronger, tougher, and wiser person. Thanks to them.
Cheers,
- The Whiskey Mom
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